About a dozen pages into Vanity Fair's new "Special Commemorative Inauguration Issue," you will come across a two page ad for the Dorchester hotel chain ("The Dorchester Collection," as they like to style themselves). This particular piece of commercial art features Le Meurice, that mansard bristling fortress of a hostelry overlooking the Tuileries Garden in Paris near the Louvre, where you may stay for as little as a thousand bucks a night or so. As the copy tells us, the distinguished and famous have long stayed there, including Salvador Dali, which may explain the quirky, puzzling twists presented here.

For instance, the information provided suggests that the large rendering is of the newly redecorated Restaurant le Dali, but is actually one of Restaurant le Meurice, and in the picture, sitting at an exquisite table, we have stylized portraits of three distinguished patrons from the hotel's past: Princess Grace [Kelly] of Monaco, Albert Einstein, and our lad, Orson Welles. They all look rather equivocal.

Princess Grace, as evidenced by an empty chair to her left , has evidently been stood up for dinner by Salvador Dali (whom we are told, in a droll pitch for Dorchester's concierge department, has ordered a bicycle from Room Service instead). She gazes out at us, seemingly ready to accept anyone in his stead -- even you or me. Welles, I'm glad to report, looking a bit guilty, it's true, is having his arm clutched possessively by an austere but very much elegantly alive Kristin Scott-Thomas, no doubt consoling herself for not being nominated for the Oscar this year.

It is almost a creation Dali might approve of.

As my head waiter at Talivent suggested to me a few years ago: "A-ha! monsieur, I'll bet zat you hav nuzing like zis in your neck of ze voods."

Glenn

***

Thanks to that drunkard Glenn Anders for pointing this out. I was just looking at that issue of VANITY FAIR myself, and while Obama is on the cover, it really is mostly about HOLLYWOOD, so in that regard alone, it should be brought. It also features ads on the subsequent pages of yachts and sail-boats, so I couldn't help thinking about Orson Welles's THE DEEP.

There is also a story about John Ford's MONUMENT VALLEY which mentions Welles, and has a lot of great pictures of that majestic location, so just for the pictures, the mag should be bought (unfortunately, the words are less than the dust beneath the chariot wheels of either Mr. Ford or Mr. Hannaford.)

One wonders why VF quoted Joe McBride so many times in the piece instead of simply asking him to write the article? Did they really think Buzz Bitchinger was some sort of John Ford-Monument Valley expert?
Christ Almighty, I've been to Monument Valley three times, most recently last year, and could write a far more accurate piece than he did!

Drunkard?
You two have a strange relationship, undoubtedly.
I'm starting to think Universal is going to wait till Amberson's 70th anniversary for the DVD...alas...

I've been to Monument Valley twice but the last thing these people want is an article written by somebody who knows what he is talking about.

Is Buzz Bitchinger for real?

Right you are, tonyw!

As for Buzz Bitchinger, he is not so real as Larry French . . . but he may be more real than Todd Baesen or keats.

Glenn

Nice one, Glenn!

Very reminiscent of that image on Red Room suggesting that you've had more than one glass of red wine.

In public, I never drink wine, only Campari and soda.

But I don't try to order a bicycle from Room Service either.

Glenn

I should add, tonyw and purplepines, that I am speaking above only of places like the Ha-Ra Club (as Toddy Baesen would attest) because they serve no wine, certainly no red wine, for they offer no sacrament. In fact, I'm not sure that the Ha-Ra has Campari anymore. In such places, if red wine is not available, blood will do.

In that regard, speaking of the Ha-Ra Club on this Valentine's Day morning, having read Larry French's description of Gary Graver's TOSOTW rough cut (and giving anguished curses to have missed it), I should report that Frisco's answer to Restaurant le Dali, The Ha-Ra Club will be presenting an evening of Tenderloin Valentine detective literature under the sponsorship of San Francisco Noir (Peter Maravelis) and the distinguished City Lights Book Shop (Lawrence Ferlinghetti). Yes, Wellsians, fueled by Ha-Ra Club's Bartender Impresario Carl Kickery, such raw and seductive writers as Don Herron (of the famous [recommended] Dashiell Hammett Walking Tour) and Femme Fatale Sin Sorrocco (Black Lizard) will be among the Star Readers.

It will be an evening Princess Grace, Salvador Dali, Albert Einstein, not to mention Kristin Scott-Thomas and Orson Welles, would love.

Here, ripped from today's Internet, is Laughing Squid's advertisement:

"St. Valentine's Day Noir:

"Some like to spend this romantic holiday amidst candles and soft music. Not us. We'll be spending it in a dark, lusty, and dangerous place. Join us for an evening of unbridled transgression as Peter Maravelis, the editor of San Francisco Noir, hosts a release party for a second volume of hardboiled fiction celebrating the seedy underbelly of our city-by-the-bay. San Francisco Noir 2: The Classics picks up where its predecessor left off. Some of the great storytellers of the past conspire with contemporary noir virtuosos to showcase the city's criminal legacy. From Wild West outpost to dystopian cosmopolis, San Francisco is exposed in all its treacherous glory. Visit a sinister landscape populated by the possessed, the dispossessed, and the wandering ghosts of days gone by. reading from their works will be: Craig Clevenger (author of the Contortionist's Handbook (and) Dermaphoria) David Corbett (author Blood of Paradise (and) Done for a Dime) Don Herron (Original Suicide Club member, creator of The Dashiell Hammett Tour) John Shirley (cyber-punk trailblazer, author of Black Glass) Sin Sorrocco (original Black Lizard author of Low Bite (and) Edge City) Domenic Stansberry (author of The Last Days of Il Duce (and) The Ancient Rain) Bring your sweetheart to the Ha Ra Club for an evening where larcenous hearts meet. 21 and over.

"Saturday, 14 February, 2009

"Ha Ra Club
875 Geary Street
San Francisco, CA 94109

"Starts at 08:00 PM"

*****

In other words, those of you who have been curious about figures like Todd Baesen, Nick Badseed, and other Frisco Wellsians, may very likely find them bellying up this evening to Bartender Carl Kickery's stained, cockroach infested liquor trough.

Word is that Miles Archer (who in real life only lost an eye back in 1941), accompanied by his trusty new assistants, Maclean and Armstrong (known as "The Macresarf1 Shift"), may be providing security on the premises. Though the event is free, Carl is trying to keep riff-raff out of the Ha-Ra Club, which is becoming infamous worldwide for #16 and #91 on the establishment's juke box.

Carl has also asked that none of the guests be allowed down in the Cellar, where Aleister Crowley (reincarnated) -- and his daughter, Barbara -- will be holding a going away party for his Infernal Grandson, George. But George's wife, Laura, exercising her librarian's interest in detective stories, may be up in the pump room, reading from her long rumored creative piece, "The Grand Inquisitor's Third Temptation."

You will be happy to know that, by slipping Carl Kickery a twenty buck note the other night, much to Baesen's consternation, all Wellsians will be welcomed to the Ha-Ra Club!

For those of you in the East, such as tony, tonyw, christopher, keats, etc, you can make it here to the Party if you are on the plane by 1 p.m. (EST). Should you run into traffic problems on this end, simply call Mayor Gavin Newsom's Office for a motorcycle escort to The Ha-Ra Club on Geary Street . Tell 'em: "Larry French sent us!"

Glenn